Book of the Week-We Are All Wonders

One of the most important things I can teach my daughter is the importance of being a kind, empathic and understanding child.  Living in New York City, children are exposed to a variety of people at a very young age.  I'm lucky enough that my daughter doesn't seem to notice people being different.  Or she notices their differences but doesn't think they matter.  The easiest way for children to learn about being kind and empathic is by seeing it from other people in their lives, especially their grown-ups.  However, there are many children who need to help understanding that not everyone looks the same and some are born with issues that make them very different than them.  For example, kids may not be able to speak or walk without a walker or may need a wheelchair in order to get around.  While it is normal for kids to be curious, we have to teach them that staring at a child for too long or asking them too many questions may make the other kids feel sad.

We Are All Wonders. by R.J. Palacio is a picture book based on her book Wonder.  I was so moved by that book when I read it a couple of years ago that I now recommend it to anyone who works with kids and have gifted it to more people than I can recall.  We Are All Wonders features Auggie Pullman, the main character of Wonder.  The main theme of the book is the importance of being kind, empathetic and understanding.  Auggie was born with facial differences and because of that, he is different than other kids his age.  The kids don't invite him to play and call him names because of the way he looks.  What those kids don't understand is that even though he may look different than him, he is very much like them.  He likes to play with the same kinds of toys and do the same kinds of activities.  Auggie is sad that nobody wants to play with him so when he is feeling extra lonely, he puts on his space helmet and he and his dog Daisy escape to Pluto where they play with old friends.  As they are coming back to Earth, Auggie sees just how big it is and how it should be big enough for all kinds of people.  This is something we all need to be reminded of at times and definitely something children need to learn from a very young age. 

Here are some questions you can ask your children and activities you can do to go along with We Are All Wonders.
~one of my favorite quotes from We Are All Wonders is "I can't change the way I look.  People just need to change the way they see."  Using this quote, you can brainstorm with the kids about how they would describe Auggie without focusing on the way he looks.  For older children, you could put everyone's name in a bag and have them pick a name out.  They must then think about something wonderful about that person that has nothing to do with they way they look.  Provide examples such as "you have a really great singing voice" or "you know how to make the coolest MagnaTile structures" or "you are a really great drawer". 

~an important conversation to have while reading this book is about how everyone is different.  We may have things in common with our friends and family, but there are things that make us each unique and extraordinary.  Go around the class and ask each child to think about something that makes them different than their peers.  If they can't come up with something, help them come up with something that you notice makes them unique and special.

~something I have introduced to my own daughter is the idea of performing random acts of kindness.  A random act of kindness is when someone unexpectedly does something kind for someone that brightens their day.  Brainstorm with your child or the class about different kinds of things that they can do for people in their lives.

~one thing that can be done in either a classroom or home setting is to make a Kindness Jar.  Every time a child is caught doing something kind for someone else, you put some kind of token in that jar.  Once the jar is full, the class earns a party or you and your child can do something special.  I sometimes suggest that parents actually write down what that act of kindness on small pieces of paper so they can read through all the great things that the kids did.  For younger children, it may be easier to have a bowl full of pom poms that they put into a jar and for the grownup to keep a running list of random acts of kindness they observe and then share some of them when the child/class earns their reward
~I have discussed this before, but it is too good not to do again in conjunction with We Are All Wonders.  The Kindness Rocks project is an initiative that spreads kindness through drawing, painting and creating on rocks.  People are encouraged to draw special pictures or write inspirational messages on rocks and then place them throughout their community or take them with them while they are traveling.  The hope is that people will find those rocks and their day will be a bit brighter.  For schools who want to promote social emotional learning, you could have classrooms make their own rocks and place them in different places that can be found. 

Over the next several weeks, I will be sharing my favorite books about teaching kindness, empathy and understanding to children.  I have a whole bunch but am always looking books to add to my library.  If you have any favorites you would like to share, I am always a click away and love hearing from you all!

Book of the Week-Waiting Is Not Easy

As an occupational therapist, a pretty common goal among many of the children I work with is helping them improve their ability to regulate themselves or be in better control of their bodies.  Our focus the last few weeks at The Meeting House has been self-control.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, self-control is the ability to control one's feelings or behaviors, particularly when in situations that may be difficult for them.

There are a ton of great children's books that deal with this particular subject in a fun manner.  Not only do they help children gain a better understanding of self-control but also provide some great strategies for those difficult times when they are having a hard time controlling their feelings or behaviors.  There are many ways difficulty with self-control can come across in children.  One of the most common things, especially in younger children, that they struggle with is waiting.  Kids have to do a lot of waiting.  Waiting for their turn, waiting in line, waiting for something they really want.  They have to wait for things at home, in school and even at after-school programs and at the playground.  Waiting is an unavoidable part of everyone's lives but for kids who have sensory processing difficulties, it is especially difficult for them.  You know that kid:  the one who shouts out an answer without raising their hands, the one who pushes to the front of the line or insists on being first when playing a game.  They are not trying to be "bad" so it's important for them to learn about the importance of waiting and even develop some strategies to help them through those tricky times.

This week I chose Waiting Is Not Easy by Mo Willems to help children learn about waiting.  I have been a huge fan of the Mo Willems' Piggie and Elephant series for a long time and love how they can help teach children about life lessons that so many struggle with.  In Waiting Is Not Easy, Gerald has to practice patience after Piggie tells him he has a surprise for him.  Gerald is not happy that he actually has to wait and wants it right away.  He asks questions throughout the day and grows increasingly frustrated that Piggie won't tell him what the surprise is.  At the end of the day when he finally gets his surprise, Gerald realizes that the wait was definitely worth the wait!

Below, you will find some questions you can ask your children and activities that you can do with them after reading Waiting Is Not Easy:

~ask your children about times that it has been difficult for them to wait.  Talk about how they feel when they have to wait.

~brainstorm strategies when they have to wait for something.  Some of the things I have taught kids is to take a deep breath, count backwards from 10 or sing some song.

~play games with your children.  This is a great way to practice waiting and turn taking with young children.  Make sure that they your child isn't always going first! Some of my favorite children's games are:
*Yeti In My Spaghetti
*Pop The Pig
*Jenga
*The Sneaky, Snacky Squirrel Game
*Tumbling Monkeys

~there are a lot of great gross motor games that work on self-control, regulation skills and waiting!  Here are a few of my favorite that you can play after reading Waiting Is Not Easy:
*Simon Says-children have to perform an action only when the leader says "Simon Says....".  For example, if the leader says, "Simon says touch your toes", they should perform the action.  If the leader says "Touch your toes", they should stay as is.
*Freeze Dance-blast music and have the kids dance (remind them to be aware of their friends and not run into their bodies!).  When the music stops, they have to freeze.  For an added challenge, I sometimes have the kids perform an action when they freeze (freeze in a big shape, freeze as an animal, etc.).  
*Red Light, Green Light-like vehicles, kids move on the green light and freeze on the red light.  Sometimes I will have a visual cue to help the kids at first.  For example, I will hold a red ball when I shout "red light" and a green ball when I shout "green light".  As they become comfortable with the game, I remove the visual prompts and have them rely on the verbal prompt.  S
*Ready, Set, Wiggle-the leader calls out Ready, Set, Wiggle and everyone has to wiggle their bodies.  When the leader calls out Ready, Set, Watermelon, nobody moves.  When they call out Ready, Set, Wigs, nobody moves.  If you want to switch out different "W" words, you can. The point of the game is that the kids wait until they hear the word wiggle. 

One of the most important ways to teach our children about self-control during waiting is to model it ourselves.  We need kids to see that we can be patient and wait for things ourselves.  If we model this behavior to our kids, they are more likely to be able to follow our lead.

I have a handful of other book recommendations that help children learn about self-control and waiting in a fun and kid-friendly way which I'm happy to share those with you.  I'm always a click away and love hearing from you all.

Book of the Week-Stick and Stone

Unfortunately, one of the things kids have to deal with these days is bullying.  What was once something you typically saw more frequently with older children is now something that you see beginning way earlier these days.  In my career, I have noticed that cliques begin forming in preschool.  On many school visits, I have seen groups of children cluster together and witnessed the leaving other children out for one reason or another.

This weeks book recommendation is Stick and Stone written by Beth Ferry and illustrations by Tom Lichtenheld.  In this book, kids learn about kindness and the importance of being a good friend.  The main characters of the book are Stick and Stone...both felt lonely until they found each other after Stick steps in to defend Stone after Pinecone is making fun of him.  They quickly become best friends and end up protecting each other when they are both most in need of a good friend.

Stick and Stone is a simple book making it easy for even the youngest of children to understand.  I've used it with my group of kids at The Meeting House and they loved it and were really able to engage in meaningful conversations about friendship and even begin a simple conversation about bullying.  I think it's important to help young children not only learn about what it means to be a good friend but also be able to recognize when someone isn't being a good friend to you or your friends.

Below, you will find some questions you can ask your children and activities that you can do with them while reading Stick and Stone.

-ask your children what makes them a good friend.  Discuss qualities that make them a good friend and what they love about different friends of theirs.  If you are doing this in a group/classroom setting, keep a running list of these qualities for children to reference throughout the year.

-in addition to talking about what makes someone a good friend, it's equally important for children to recognize the opposite.  Since bullying is beginning at a younger age, it's important for kids to be able to know if they or other friends in their class are being bullies.  Talk about what kinds of things make someone a bully (and this conversation and the language you will use will be different for different aged kids).  Talk about what they should do if they feel like they are someone else is being bullied.  Most importantly, they should not keep quiet and they should talk to grownups.

-this book offers a lot of opportunities for role playing.  If you check out this link, the author and illustrator have put together an activity pack that includes some finger puppets.  You can go through a bunch of scenarios with the kids to help them problem solve difficult moments they may encounter in school, at the playground, etc..

-this summer, I learned about a beautiful initiative called The Kindness Rocks Project.  They have two simple goals: 
~Inspire others through randomly placed rocks along the way
~Recruit every person who stumbles upon it to join in the pursuit of inspiring others through random acts of kindness. 
Painting rocks and writing messages about friendship and kindness that were brought up in Stick and Stone is a craft to do after reading the book.  Kids can paint or draw using permanent or paint markers and then hide them in their neighborhood.

While it's hard to imagine that we have to worry about the idea of kids being bullied at such a young age, I think if we begin to teach children at a very young age about being a good friend and how NOT to be a bully, we may help avoid kids becoming bullies as they get older.  One of the things we can teach our children from this book that it might not be easy, sticking up for others like Stick did for Stone when Pinecone was being mean to him could lead to lifelong friendships!

If you have any other books that may address this subject in a child-friendly manner, I would love to hear about them!   I am only a click away and LOVE hearing from all of you!

Book of the Week-Be A Friend

This weeks book recommendation is one of my all time favorite children's books and one that I have previously blogged about.  I truly believe that this book should be in every preschool and early school age classroom.   Be A Friend by Salina Yoon is a beautiful book about what it means to be a friend...especially to someone who is different than you.  While many children can just roll with it, other children can become nervous or anxious by children who are not just like them. 

The basic premise of the book is simple:  Everyone Needs Someone.  In this case, that someone is a little boy named Dennis who doesn't speak but has a wild imagination and shares his thoughts and ideas through his actions.  Not many of the kids who are near him can be bothered by his behaviors but one day a little girl named Joy decides to take the brave step to get to know Dennis a bit more.  With time, they develop a beautiful friendship that relies on accepting and embracing someone who might be different.  In the end, the other children in Joy and Dennis' class saw what fun they had together and ended up joining in on their imaginative play.  There are so many wonderful lessons that this book teaches, most importantly that not everyone is the same and being different is okay.  Being a good friend means thinking outside of the box sometimes and learning something new from a friend. 

This book not only tells a beautiful story about friendship, it has some of the most beautiful illustrations I have seen in a children's book.  Kids are drawn into the story because of the stories the pictures tell.

Below, you will find some questions and activities you can do with in conjunction with reading Be A Friend:
~sometimes kids need help identifying what characteristics make a good friend.  After you finish reading the book, you can talk about what made Joy a good friend to Dennis and then extend that conversation to have them think about things they have done that make them a good friend or what someone can do for them that shows them they are a good friend. 
~this is a great book to read to a classroom/group of kids in the beginning of the school year as everyone is getting to know each other.  After reading it to the group, you can come up with a list of things that makes them a good friend.  You can try and expand this by not only discussing characteristics that make them good friends but talk about things they can do that shows someone who might be different that they are a good friend. 
~for older children you can have a conversation about what kinds of things they have in common with their friends and also have them identify what makes them different than their friends.  Being able to recognize that it is normal to not always have the same interests as your friends....being different is normal and what makes us each unique.
~have the kids pretend to be mimes and have them act different things out.  You can start with having them mime different feelings and emotions and eventually move onto having them act out activities they like.  This could be a great way for kids to get to know each other better and discover what kinds of things they have in common with their friends.

When I find a book like Be A Friend, I feel like I have to share it with everyone.  I work with so many kids who feel different from their peers and I think it is important for them to know they are not alone.  I once heard that it's more important to have one good friend than to have lots of acquaintances and this book shows just that.

Be sure to check back next week to see what book I will be sharing with you all.  If you have any book suggestions, I would love to hear them!  I am only a click away and love hearing from you all.   

Book of the Week-The Color Monster!

Starting this week, I will be partnering with my favorite Park Slope children's bookstore, Stories Bookshop, to share a book of the week.  Each book will offer some kind of social emotional lesson that will help in increasing children's social intelligence and awareness.  In my work at The Meeting House, I have found just how valuable a tool children's books can be in helping children become more aware of a variety of social challenges.  It's difficult for younger children to be able to identify the difficulties they may be having and how that is impacting their social success.  However, they are often able to

This weeks book is The Color Monster:  A Pop-Up Book  of Feelings written by Anna Llenas.  This has been a staple of my social skills groups for the last two years and a crowd favorite every time it is read.  While this book was originally intended for younger children, I have found it to be an incredibly fun book to help preschool and school-age children learn about feelings and emotions.  So many kids have a hard time identifying feelings and emotions and what I love about The Color Monster is that it gives a color to match to each feeling making it easier for kids to learn about the feelings.  The author does a great job of describing and giving examples of each emotion making it clear that they are not good or bad just that they are things we all feel at times.  Being able to identify feelings and emotions is not only important for personal growth and improved self-esteem in children, it helps them form relationships with their peers.

Below, you will find a few questions and activities that you can do in conjunction with reading The Color Monster:
~for each feeling and color, have your children tell you one thing that makes them feel that way.  If they are struggling, you may tell them what makes you feel that way which may help in triggering an answer on their end.

~use this as an opportunity to talk about some coping strategies the monster could use to help them through some of the bigger emotions like anger and sadness.  Providing kids with coping strategies allows them to be more in control of their feelings and emotions in a variety of environments.  By talking about them and practicing them at home, kids will have a better chance of being able to generalize their skills later on.

~at The Meeting House, we had the kids make a feelings chart with each of the colors.  On a long piece of paper, we drew empty jars that they had to fill in with different colored objects that matched the feeling.  The OT in me had to make it as therapeutic as possible so added as much of a sensory component as I could so we used all kinds of tactile materials such as pom-poms, shredded up tissue paper, bumpy cardboard paper, etc..  We encouraged parents to hang this feelings chart up someplace that the kids had easy access to so when they were feeling upset or angry or any other feeling but can't express it they can have a visual to help them out.  Many of our parents have shared with us that this has been one of the most helpful tools not only for the children, but that parents have used it to show their children how they are feeling at different times to help them understand that EVERYONE has feelings and sometimes can't talk about them.

~whenever possible, I like to incorporate some kind of gross motor activity.  I have found that kids are able to generalize and internalize anything I am teaching if we provide multi-sensory activities.  One game that kids love is Freeze Dance.  I found this squishy toy at Duane Reade that has all different emojis on it that I have the kids roll when the music stops; they then shout out the emotion to the group and everyone has to act it out.  Not only does this help kids learn about feelings and emotions, it helps with improving modulation and regulation skills.

I am really looking forward to sharing some of my favorite children's books with you all this year.  If any of you have any books that you love, please pass them along to me and my readers!  I am always a click away and love hearing from you all with your ideas.